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A group of local dads is helping men talk about their mental health and receive help and signposting through playing football. On International Men's Day (November 19) we find out more about Match of the Dads and how it works with Norfolk and Suffolk NHS Foundation Trust to improve life for families.
What started as a few dads getting together for a kickabout and putting the world to rights has become a charity five-a-aside football league involving 300 players.
That’s the story behind Match of the Dads, a mental health support group for dads, step dads and dads-to-be in and around Norwich.
The group focuses on the benefits that physical exercise has on mental health and wellbeing and aims to highlight male suicide and how to prevent it.
Founder Paul Godfrey said: “Not only do we have a wellbeing officer, Kelvin Colbourn, we have various members of the group who are certified mental health first aiders.
Kelvin is Community Development Team Leader for Norfolk and Waveney Talking Therapies, which is jointly provided by NSFT and Mind. They recently renewed sponsored new kit for the teams.
“Both the service and the group are thrilled to renew the sponsoring of the shirts and more importantly, the offering of support to dads in the group, and any other parents out there,” said Kelvin. The shirts carry the message #noparentleftbehind, a key strategic aim of NSFT’s perinatal team, encouraging parents to reach out to the service for support. This ties in with the release of the new perinatal
video
.
“It’s well documented that men struggle to engage with services for their mental health. The message on the shirt will hopefully encourage those struggling to reach out to us for help. It’s a really good match, and we are all thrilled to continue the partnership.”
Paul said the partnership was all about encouraging men to talk and be able to signpost when needed. “If anyone comes to us and may be struggling with any aspects of their mental health and wellbeing, we can offer support, but more importantly signpost them to NSFT for professional help and advice.”
Match of the Dads started when Paul was part of a different dads group and a few of them decided to get together once week for a game of football. He said: “Twelve guys turned up and it went well so we decided to do it again. The following week more turned up, and it snowballed quickly.”
He decided they could start their own friendly football league. “In our first season we had three teams and 18 players. Fast forward to today and we have 12 teams and almost 300 players in the group,” said Paul.
“The growth has been organic,” he added. “Word of mouth and awareness of what we do and why we do it has helped to grow the group massively.”
International Men's Day is a day to raise awareness of men's mental health issues and to address the high rates of male suicide. It's also a day to recognise the diversity of men of all ages.
Paul said: “There is still a stigma surrounding men’s mental health, although not as much as in the past. Men are historically brought up to be the strong, silent types who internalise their feelings and just get on with things. The sad fact about this is that more than 75% of all suicides in the UK are men.
“It can’t continue. Our fight is to raise awareness that it is ok to not be ok, and that as a group every single player is there to listen, offer help and advice from their own lived experiences without the risk of judgment.
“People who are happier and more content tend to be more engaged with their families, and the guys will be the best dads they can be. If the guys involved improve their mood, mental health and wellbeing, it can only offer positive results in their family environments.
“We have had many of our players say how much Match of the Dads has helped them through various life events, and a couple have said that without us being there doing what we do, they may not be here to talk about it today. If we’ve saved one life or brought one person back from crisis point, then it makes what we do worth it every minute of every day.”
Paul has a team of seven involved in running the league alongside the wellbeing officer, including volunteers sorting loans and referee assignments through to keeping the website up to date.
And it doesn’t matter about ability or age, the only requirement to join is that you’re a dad, stepdad or dad to be. “We’ve got players of all abilities, that part doesn’t matter. If you enjoy football, want to join a welcoming group of like-minded dads as well as raising money for charity then we’d love to hear from you,” said Paul.
The league recently held its second 24-hour, five-a-side match to raise additional funds for Campaign Against Living Miserably, a charity partner, along with regular Monday night matches at the FDC in Bowthorpe. That event alone raised more than £2,200.
And now they are hoping to spread the message further afield. “One of our members moved to Scotland earlier this year, so I’m going to reach out to him to see if he’d be interested in setting up a Match of the Dads group up there,” said Paul.
The future also will see further 24-hour games, some 11-a- side matches and they’ve also toyed with the idea of a world record attempt five-a-side. “It’s only 76 hours. How hard can that be,” Paul joked.
Anyone interested in joining the group can message Paul via social media platforms on Facebook, X, Instagram and Bluesky or people can visit
www.matchofthedads.com
and click the ‘join us’ button. Games are filmed and put them on our YouTube channel each week too.